"I was one of the last generation of queer teen girls doomed to library lesbianism. I searched yellowed index cards (index cards!) for any mention of “homosexuality”, read between the lines of modernist novel after modernist novel for even a brief hint of gayness. Most of the material I found was infected with the Freudian fifties, so here’s what I found out about being queer: being a lesbian was juvenile. Being a lesbian was penis envy. Being a lesbian was narcissism. Being a lesbian was about the inability to enjoy a vaginal orgasm and be a Real Woman. You can imagine that I found scant consolation in scandalous footnotes about Vita Sacksville West and Virginia Woolf."

— awkward beginning to the essay I’m writing today for Emily Books on Sarah Schulman’s EmpathyFreud, and reading about being queer